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For all the Momma's out there
February 16, 2016
If you’re tired, worn out, and living in your PJ’s most days you’re not alone. We really don’t get breaks. Not long ones anyway. I love my babies to death but you know what I realized about myself and most moms I know? We do everything for our kids. I mean everything. From the time they get up till we kiss them goodnight. And after a full day with my very energetic kids I’m all worn out. I need some me time. All day long we hear “mom this” and “mom that”. Do this. Get that. Funny enough, I have realized that most things I do for my kids they are very capable of doing themselves. They are our children and they do need a lot of care and attention but we have it in our minds that we are bad moms if we don't tend to every little request. I believe the media plays some role here. It’s there we see what a “perfect mom” should be or do. They tell us everything always has to be photo ready. From our food to our homes. I’m sorry but I really don’t have the time to shape my children’s food into cute little animals. I actually have tried but it’s just not my forte. Most times it’s difficult enough just providing them with a healthy lunch.
I usually don't realize my exhausted state until I’m beyond frustrated. Like right now, for example. As I write this, I’m sitting on my bed angry and happy all at the same time. How is that even possible? Well, I have 2 very energetic toddlers. My daughter is a few weeks shy of her 4th birthday and my son is 2. They require a lot of care and attention. Still, they are very capable at this age and can do some things on their own. That doesn’t seem to matter to me, though, because I continually let them get away with asking me to do everything for them. They actually don’t really seem to ask but TELL. Simple example is I always find myself getting up and throwing their trash. My kids know where the trash is and are capable of doing it themselves but for some reason I keep enabling them. I do so innocently, even blindly, but I’m still doing it. Why? I think for many mothers some of these behaviors stem from our nurturing nature. We are mommas and we simply want to take care of things.
So here I am, sitting in bed. Resting. Finally. I get up and go to the bathroom and when I come back there he is. My darling son (who was supposed to be sleeping) is sitting on the floor by the side of my bed eating MY Oreos. Who cares if I “shouldn’t be eating them”. I want them and deserve them! Haha! My immediate reaction when I saw him was to yell “it’s your bedtime and those are MY cookies”. I now realize I sounded like a child myself but gosh darn it he ate MY Oreos and licked all the frosting off and left just the cookies. I wasn't having it. Call me mean but I took him back to his bed. Now, for your information, I did let him finish his cookie. So I’m not that awful. So why do I feel so bad? I just wanted something that was mine. Something I didn’t have to share. Why do us moms feel guilty for wanting time to ourselves? We NEED that time so we can be the best we can be for them. You deserve to sleep in, hang out with girlfriends, and go on dates. I know for many it’s hard to get any of that consistently but please try. Taking care of yourself doesn’t make you a bad mother.
So let me say this, you are a GREAT MOTHER! No other woman can be the mother that you can to your children. Yes, you will make mistakes. We all do. We are human. But we love our kids and we are doing the absolute best that we can. When you do make mistakes, don’t be ashamed to ask your children for forgiveness. I do it all the time. We need to be real with them. They need to know we are trying our hardest but that mom isn’t perfect.
If you’re not a mom or parent please be kind when we don’t look “put together”. Our babies are our the world to us. We truly want the best for them and we try to give them that in every way. We want to look our best and have everything “together” but some days we just won’t. If you want to say something, say something helpful. Encourage us. Let us know we’re doing a great job.
Being a mother is a hard job. A job you don’t get paid for. Not monetarily anyway. Our payment comes in other forms. Like when our kids say “please” and “thank you” without having to be reminded. Or when they’re willing to share their toys with friends. Whether you’re a stay-at-home mom or not, you have a career in raising your children. So, tend to your needs too. Take care of yourself. Don’t feel guilty. You deserve it. After all, you are a mother!