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February 26, 2016
Every night, I fall asleep thinking, "There has to be more". A longing begins to stir in my soul to BE more than what I am today. Do you ever get that feeling? That there's more. Do you dream of adventure? Who doesn’t?! I think most people want to live an adventurous life. Or at least be part of one. I know I do. I’ve always dreamed of doing big things, traveling the world, making an impact but most times I feel like I'm just searching and never filling that desire. Never answering my heart’s questions. I've searched and searched to no avail. Am I looking in the wrong places? If so, where should I be looking? We can be and do anything in this world. I think that actually makes this dilemma more difficult. Our options are endless.
Where do I fit? Where do you fit? We are all so different, which I think is absolutely amazing. It means we get to be the best us. You get to be the best you and I get to be the best me. So why are we trying to be someone else? Reaching for someone else’s idea of a good life. Always trying to keep up with "so and so". But for a second imagine being the best you. We all have strengths and weaknesses, but when you are the best you, your strengths are highlighted and who you really are shines through. To me, when we strive to be our best selves we are more focused on the things that make us unique and push us forward.
Despite that, we still have weaknesses. Having weaknesses hasn’t been all bad, though, because they have helped me realize that we need each other. I can't be the best at everything. I can be the best me and find me niche in this world but I can’t do it alone. My heart questions are answered when I find where I belong and do my very best along side others who have their own dreams and desires. Together we can answer the questions we have and help resolve the longings we feel. (For more on this read my first blog post, “Be Brave, My Heart. Have Courage, My Soul.")
Last weekend I had the opportunity to join my husband on a trip to film for a short video he’s shooting for an organization in New Mexico. In fact, I’ve helped him with several projects now. On the drive home from the latest shoot, my husband and I were talking and laughing about the amazing experience we shared that weekend and the days leading up to it. The week before I was down with the flu and my husband had to stay home from work and take care of the kids and me. Thank God for him. I really needed to get well because I wanted to help him with the film shoot. Thankfully, I was much better by Friday morning (the first day of the shoot) but my body was weak and I had a terrible cough and almost no voice! But I had to go and I am so glad I did because during that trip it hit me; you’re living your dream now. I just felt God tell me “this is your adventure”! I don’t have the space to tell you all about that weekend but everything about the shoot was absolutely incredible. Friday morning, we interviewed a senator from New Mexico who granted us special access to film a piece of land that had never been put on film (at least to our knowledge). This place is not yet open to the public and is truly a paradise. It was beautiful and untouched and we were there. Together. It was exhilarating. Words do no justice to the emotions this placed stirred inside me. It was overwhelming!
For as long as I can remember I’ve always jumped at the hint of adventure. I’ve done what I’ve wanted. Yes, with some I tried and failed but I’ve seen success too. I’ve done things that I was scared to do but still, I did it. I have seen places in this world that I will never forget. I have amazing parents who constantly encouraged my desire for adventure. And now my husband and I with our children are creating new adventures.
With all of that I’ve had my share of low places too. Some things we experience may not seem like a great adventure or place us in situations we ever wanted to be in but all of these things make up our lives. Sometimes, no matter how hard it is, we cannot have the good without the bad. Would the story of Cinderella be as popular if it wasn’t for the loss of her father and the awful treatment she received from her step mother and step sisters?
God says it like this:
“See, I have refined you, though not as silver; I have tested you in the furnace of affliction. For my own sake, for my own sake, I do this” (Isaiah 48:10).
God refines us in our suffering. God molds and makes us into something much better than we can ourselves. Like Michelangelo, who started out with a piece of marble stone and created a masterpiece in his King David work. He chiseled away until he produced a magnificent finished product. Every day we can be better than the day before if we choose that. Instead of always waiting and expecting for things to come true and finally happen, let’s look at life with eyes that see every circumstance for what it is. Let’s choose to be happy right where we are. Let’s dream, and dream big! In every step we take and whatever path we are on, let’s live fully! Let God mold you daily and watch YOUR great story unfold before your eyes.
There are still some nights we may go to bed searching but I know that every place you’ve been is preparing you for all that you were made to be. Every struggle we go through can make us better, stronger, and more capable. My heart gets heavy and weary but I know if I just keep pushing I'm becoming stronger. Just because you don't feel like you’re fully in your "niche" does not diminish who you are or where you’ve been. Don't despise where you've came from. It’s playing a part in getting you to where you’re going. Where you’re from is what makes you, you. Don’t be ashamed. Let your story help someone else’s.
Through every adventure life throws at me I need Jesus. So... Every morning when I rise, give me Jesus.